When God Doesn’t Show Up

I fasted, read my Bible, prayed, I even cried, and God did not sweep in and rescue me. This can’t be happening, God would NOT do this to me. I’m His daughter, a joint-heir with Christ, and all that other good stuff. He promised to supply all my need. If I speak to the mountain and believe when I pray I’ll have what I say. I even cast out some demons and evil spirits and my mountain remained. “What happened God?”

I felt broken, battle weary. I was baffled as to why God chose not to show up and rescue me from my mirey pit. In the midst of my brokeness I reached out for Him even more. Although I was disappointed and bewildered I knew that I could not move forward without Him. He is my anchor, my hope, my foundation. If He’s not there, I will crumble and fall.

I talked to Him in my brokeness. Let me rephrase that. I didn’t really talk, I groaned. Groaning was all that I could do, that’s how broken and weary I was, but I didn’t care. I needed to be in His presence. He knows my heart anyway, so I groaned and said “Jesus, Jesus” for a while, a long while. After a while I turned on some worship music and just sat there. Progress. Then I started praying in tongues. Then I stared and sighed. Then I got up and let Him know that I’m never letting go of Him.

So, what happened? Well, somewhere between my groanings and everything else, I knew why God didn’t show up. You see, He did show up, He never even left (Hebrews 12:1). He just did not show up the way that I was expecting Him to. Why? He gave me somethings to do and I did not do them. That’s it, pretty simple. I disobeyed God. OUCH!

I was speaking with a friend and she used an analogy of a parent and child. The child wants the parent to do something for them, the parent says “sure”, after you do the dishes. The child keeps pleading, the parent repeats the condition. As long as the child does not do the dishes, the parent will not do what they promised. I want to take that even further. Instead of doing the dishes, the child cleans their room, washes the windows, even mows the grass. These are all great things but they’re not what the parent asked. This is like what I was doing I did everything except what God asked me to do.

So, while I was broken and battle weary I learned the importance of obedience. Even if His instructions seem to have no connection to my need, my response is to obey. He knows best, His plan for my life is good, He loves me. I show my love for Him when I obey Him. So, I choose obedience, how about you?

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Don’t give up

I am going through a very challenging time in my life right now but I have had a peace that, like the Bible says, “surpasseth all uderstanding”.  I thank God for that peace everyday because there is no way that I could wake up ready to face the day without it. 

This weekend however, my peace was gone. I woke up and the enormity of my situation slammed on me and I started to dread. I knew that I had to get my eyes back on the Lord or I would be a mess. I decided to fast breakfast and lunch and read the Bible and pray. That was Saturday. Still no peace. On Sunday I went to church,  no peace. Sunday night I spent time listening to worship music, reading my Bible and praying. No peace. 

I know that something is going on. I’m praying in the spirit, fasting, reading the Word, being still and no peace. God is ministering to me during this time. Strengthening me, teaching me, but my heart is still troubled. I know that I can’t be nonchalant about this. The Lord tells me that many Christians do not receive because we do not do what it takes to receive. We do not seek hard after Him. We ask for wisdom and if we don’t receive it right away we move on. We pray for peace and when it doesn’t come we try to find it a different way. If the Word says it, it means we can have, be, or do it. We cannot give up until we receive it. 

I go back to my prayer closet because I want whatever is causing the unrest in my life to be gone. I refuse to accept it, pretend it’s not there, give satan an entrance into my life. I will pray in tongues (because I don’t know what the problem is) until I have peace, until I have the answer. 

Are you giving up before you get what you are seeking for? Jesus says seek and you will find (Luke 11:9-10). Jeremiah 29:13 says you will find God when you seek for Him with your whole heart. Don’t give up before you have found what you are looking for. 

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