“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10 (NLT)
I knew that God loved me and had a wonderful plan for my life. He sent His beloved Son to die for me afterall. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of the depth of His love for me. Life started happening and let me tell you. It can knock you off kilter. Loss, disappointment, confusion. Slowly change starts happening inside that you don’t even realize.
I found myself asking, “What do I need to do to get back in God’s good graces?” regularly. From the things happening in my life it seemed obvious to me that something was going on. Somehow I’d gotten on God’s bad side and needed to earn my way back in His good graces. What a fallacy, God’s will for my life is always good (Jeremiah 29:11). However, because of the discord and disappointment in my life I believed that His will was only good if I earned it.
Was I destined to have the “almost” good life? I guess God blesses those He chooses and it didn’t look like I was among the chosen. Like I said, you go through the ringer a few times and you start questioning everything. Because I would be on the brink of receiving or achieving so many times only to have it snatched away I started to protect myself and not expect any good to happen to me, or if something spectacular seemed like it was going to happen I prepared myself for it to fall apart before it came to fruition. This is a great way to protect yourself but when you build defenses to keep hurt and disappointment out, those same walls also block love and other blessings from coming in.
Despite the way my life was unfolding God was still my constant companion. Although I believed that I needed to earn His goodness I still needed Him and wanted relationship with Him. He was my breath, my hope. No matter how much things crumbled around me, and they were, I latched on for dear life. It’s a good thing that I did because He is life.
He reminded me of His promise. He sent Jesus so that I could have a rich and satisfying life. It was up to me to grab a hold of that. It was there, waiting for me. Would I believe it? Would I receive it? I needed to change my thinking. If I were to live the rich and satisfying life that was mine I was going to have to believe that I was worthy of it and that it was what God wanted for me. The two things that my life up until this point, I struggled with.
Believe it or not, it took a while for me to settle this truth. God wanted me to have a rich and satisfying life. Deep down I knew it but I had let myself expect things to be taken from me. I expected to be teased with what could be and then have it fizzle before me. I had to allow myself to believe again that Jesus came to give me a rich and satisfying life. This shift in thinking did not happen overnight or even in 1 month but it did happen and I am so grateful.
My thinking changed gradually. I knew that the way that I was living life was in opposition to all that God’s word promised and the feeling that I was not doing the work that I was put on this earth to do nagged at me incessantly. Something had to change. I prayed, read my Bible, prayed and gradually I started recognizing how my words and thoughts were out of alignment with the Word of God. The more I read the Word, listened to good teaching on who I am in Christ, the more God started showing me my erred way of thinking and being.
Living my life different from how God intended was actually a slap in the face to all that Christ had done by dying on the cross. You too are worthy of “a rich and satisfying life”, don’t live any differently.